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Let’s not bother with the formalities this time. All of these things are brought together here, through truly unlikely circumstances. A house is built in 1980 in Staten Island and would have thrived as an anonymous bastion of tastelessness had the internet not been invented. A real estate agent uploads a listing to an aggregator, knowing that it will be a difficult sell but thinking not much of it, for, like Tolstoy’s unhappy families, all houses are difficult to sell in their own way. An architecture critic disappears for three months to follow bike racing around Europe, rife with questions of becoming and desire. (back of a quirky literary novel voice): Sometimes, things are not what they seem. Not into monthly subscriptions? Try the tip jar! If you like this post, consider supporting me on Patreon for as little as $1 a month! Stay tuned for more Yearbook! It’s only going to get pinker and tealer from here. I hope you all enjoyed our little foray into hell. Remember late-era Frank Lloyd Wright? These architects dared to ask: What if he sucked? the horrible room (Note: There are more images from the sicko zone but Tumblr only lets me put 10 images in per post so please head over to the McMansion Hell Patreon to see more.) The Den We are now entering the Sicko Zone, wherein everything gets progressively a little more, well, sick. We’ve completed our tour of the main, relatively normal McMansion part of this house. This was likely a reno job but master bathrooms did start being roughly the size of my living/dining room a few years later. How can something clearly from the 80s have such powerful 2006 energy? Main Bathroom This is the most normal room in the house. In the late 1970s, society once inquired, collectively: What if “Dudes Rock” was a bar? Kitchen Pretty sure this is the most epic hearth in McMansion Hell history, if not world history. (I’m sober, though.) Auditorium-Sized Living Room Shall we? Lawyer Foyerĭefinitely thought that the staircase emptied out into a pool of brown water. It has seven bedrooms for maximum party discretion and 4.5 bathrooms also for maximum party discretion but of a different sort. This incredible 70s hangover is served (with a fine line on a silver tray) at a neat $5 million. Hello everyone! We return to the great state of Illinois (where I live) to bring you this wonderful time capsule from DuPage County (where I don’t live but have ridden my bike.) There is actually much more house to get through than in the usual McMansion Hell post so Iet’s not waste time with informalities.